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Growing up with a bipolar parent can be very difficult and hard. If you have a bipolar mother or father, there are a number of things you may have experienced growing up in your household. For many, this firsthand experience is their introduction to bipolar disorder and its potentially dire effects on the family structure.
One of these experiences with a bipolar parent includes witnessing his or her mood swings. As a child or young adult you may have not understood why your mother or father behaves the way they do. It is not uncommon to search for all the information on bipolar disorder to get a better grasp on what’s happening with you loved one. With more books on manic depression and the advent of the Internet and its wealth of information, you can now find out all you need to know to better understand your bipolar parent.
A bipolar parent may act out taking some of their depressed or manic behavior out on their spouse, you or your siblings. These moods are not to be taken personally. It is also best to not purposefully provoke a bipolar parent. A stable home life is key for a mother or father with bipolar disorder. 
Some children of bipolar parents harbor some resentment toward the ill parent if they don’t take responsibility and take care of their mental health. Consider talking with a therapist if you feel as though you have some resentment toward the way your parent acts. Hopefully they are doing the best they can to remain stable in their moods. If not, have love and compassion for your parent and realize that they do have a mental illness they didn’t ask for.
One of the key concerns of children of a bipolar parent is if they will develop the disorder. And this is a possibility since bipolar disorder is thought to be largely genetic. Don’t live in fear of the disease though. If your bipolar mother or father takes care of themselves, follow their example if you do indeed also have bipolar disorder. If your bipolar parent doesn’t take care of themselves, vow that you’ll do a better job of taking care of yourself.
Future articles on the Bipolar Advice Guide will break down the various aspects that may arise in a household with a bipolar parent as well as how to cope and show support to your mother or father.
Here is a book suited for children with a bipolar parent:
The Bipolar Bear Family: When a Parent Has Bipolar Disorder
Continue reading about Growing Up with a Bipolar Parent: An Introduction to Bipolar Disorder
When A Partner Has Bipolar Disorder
Being involved in a bipolar marriage can be one of the toughest challenges for a loving relationship. With the bipolar spouse experiencing mood swings and the bipolar disorder symptoms of mania or depression at any given time, it can present a tough challenge for both the husband and wife in the relationship.
With some tough work and the proper treatment surviving a bipolar marriage can be done while decreasing problems.
According to bipolar marriage statistics, 90 percent of bipolar marriages end in divorce giving bipolar marriages a 10 percent chance of survival. This statistic does not take into account that some marriages may end with the bipolar spouse committing suicide. This percentage may grim, but if you are married to a spouse with bipolar disorder or have the illness yourself vow to be part of the 10 percent of bipolar marriages that do survive.
The reason bipolar marriages have extra problems and great risk of divorce is because the bipolar spouse may experience bouts of depression as well as mania with or without bipolar disorder treatment. These mood swings may have nothing to do with their partner or their marriage, yet the partner may feel the impact causing strain on the relationship.
A spouse’s bipolar disorder symptoms vary and the impact it will have on the marriage also vary depending on a number of factors. These factors are how well the bipolar spouse manages his or her illness, if he or she seeks treatment as well as how understanding the well spouse is regarding their bipolar wife or husband and their bipolar disorder. The well spouse can also be a trigger for the spouse with bipolar disorder as well because of their close relationship.
Some of the bipolar marriage problems can occur when the bipolar husband or wife takes out their depression, irritability or anger out on their spouse. At times a bipolar spouse can make poor decisions leading to marital problems and arguments. The well spouse may take on responsibility for their husband or wife making sure they receive treatment– a role he or she may not want to take on.
There can also be positive, happy times within a bipolar marriage. The whole marriage will not be doom and gloom because of this mental illness. Appreciate the good times and get marital counseling together if needed to weather the bad times.
Here are some great resources for those with bipolar disorder and their spouses:
The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know
Break the Bipolar Cycle: A Day-by-Day Guide to Living with Bipolar Disorder
Continue reading about Bipolar Disorder and Marriage: What to Expect When A Spouse is Bipolar
If you have a friend or loved one that suffers from depression, be it depression alone or the depression side of bipolar disorder, there are a few things you should never say to them. You may have found yourself saying certain things to a depressed person in an effort to be helpful. If you’ve noticed yourself saying things from this list to your depressed loved one, vow to never say them again.
Here is the list of things you shouldn’t say to someone with depression:
1. “Get over it.” or “Snap out of it.” If someone is depressed, especially with clinical depression, they can’t just get over it. With clinical depression, there may be no external reason a person feels down. So telling them to get over it would be futile and just frustrate and sadden them more.
2. “It is all in your mind.” Someone suffering from depression knows it. They do not need you to tell them that their issue is in their mind. If they could control not feeling depressed, they would. While there are ways they can learn to cope with their depression, telling them it’s all in their mind most likely won’t help.
3. “Life isn’t fair.” While life indeed isn’t fair, saying that to someone with depression will not help them feel better. They are focused on how they feel, not the overall broad notion that life isn’t fair.
4. “You’re selfish.” One way to kill any supportive measure you’ve taken so far is to tell a depressed person that they are selfish. Some of their actions in the midst of depression may appear selfish, such as neglecting obligations to others, but they are dealing with a mental illness. They may be just as immobilized as someone that has to focus on healing from a physical ailment. Show your support and cut them some slack.
5. “It’s your fault you’re depressed.” Laying guilt on a person for the way they feel is not a solution to depression. The person did not ask for depression and they may not yet know how to cope with it. Telling someone that it is their fault will only compound any sense guilt they may have over the way they feel. Instead offer to help your depressed friend or loved one find help in working through their illness.
If you’re looking for a resource to help a depressed or bipolar loved one, check out this highly rated book The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness
Continue reading about Five Things You Should Never Say To Someone With Depression
If your child is extremely moody, you may want to explore the possibility that he or she could have bipolar disorder. It is often difficult to diagnose bipolar children, as their behavior is often mistaken for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but it is possible to get a proper diagnosis.
You will have to see a mental health professional for a correct bipolar disorder diagnosis. Before you do that, check out these symptoms to look for if you think your child has bipolar disorder:
Abrupt changes in mood. Observe if your child goes from being very excitable to bored in a short period of time. They could be easily aroused going from calm and relaxed to very excitable and back again.
Bipolar children have shifts in mood that can range from mania, hypomania, depression, anger and anxiety. Your child may also experience mixed moods, which are an overlapping of these moods. Observe if your child experiences these shifts in mood frequently over the course of a year.
Changes in drives. You may notice that your child is more aggressive, has an increased appetite or need and demand for things such as toys and other possessions. With bipolar children, a fluctuation in drives will be notifiable over a one-year period.
Changes in self esteem. Bipolar children may go from having very high self esteem to feeling very badly about themselves.
Changes in sleep patterns. Children with bipolar disorder often have trouble sticking with a sleep pattern. It may be difficult for them to arise in the morning and/or to fall asleep at night.
Child has anxiety. If you have a bipolar child, you may notice that he or she has anxiety. According to medical research 52 percent of children with anxiety also have bipolar disorder.
Other things to observe:
If your child has one of these disturbances over the course of a year: increased aggression and excessive anger, he or she may have bipolar disorder. Bipolar children may have trouble accepting the word “no”, sharing, being patient or adapting to change.
For more information on bipolar children, I recommend The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood’s Most Misunderstood Disorder — Third Edition
Also check out:
Mommy I’m Still in Here: Raising Children with Bipolar Disorder
Continue reading about Bipolar Disorder in Children: Recognizing Symptoms
As with any romantic situation, dating someone will bipolar disorder won’t be easy. When you have two people are getting to know each other and forming a relationship, there will be ups and downs. With bipolar disorder added into the mix, the ups and downs of relationships will be higher and lower than the average couple.
If you’re considering dating someone with bipolar disorder, or you have it, be prepared for a challenge. Don’t be discouraged though because a loving relationship can be worth the effort, when it’s right.
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Because people with bipolar disorder have mood swings, dating someone with bipolar disorder can be a rollercoaster at times. Manic and depression episodes can cause stress and strain in a relationship when it ordinarily wouldn’t. You have to be mindful of a person’s mood swings and what triggers their episodes. Some things you’ll get to know as you observe more about them.
Having a close attachment to a person with manic depression can create emotional triggers and blow disagreements out of proportion. Some people with bipolar disorder can also become jealous when they are moody so also be aware of this. The up times are often a whirlwind of romance that often overshadows the down times. It takes a real commitment to stick with a person with bipolar disorder, but it can be done.
If you are bipolar and are considering dating someone, be upfront about your illness. Also take care of your mental health. You owe it to yourself. This will improve your life as well as your relationship, including your dating relationships. You’ll be more stable to pursue a stable loving relationship.
When you’re dating relationship becomes serious, consider couples counseling if troubles arise often. This will help you better understand each other as well as the illness. No matter what reassure each other that you have a strong commitment to each other.
Photo by Thom W.
Continue reading about Bipolar Disorder and Dating Relationships